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Pregnant and Sharing Expenses With Boyfriend?

I have just found out I am pregnant and therefore my boyfriend and I are now looking to move in together. I plan to go back to work after the baby is born and work about 30 hours a week. He works as a PT and only works about 15-20 hours a week, usually outside of times I work. Therefore it seems like we could make it work, however he is now talking about sharing money completely which makes me nervous. I know we will now be a "family" however I'm still wanting my independence.

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How can I have both? Also, he has a house which he rents out and he has to add to it each week to pay the mortgage. He is looking to put this into a trust so I cannot have any claim on it (fair enough). However, if we are sharing money then am I not technically paying for some of it without having any claim? It's all so hard to talk about and is driving me insane!

By Lauren

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November 2, 20130 found this helpful

From what you have said, I wouldn't move in with him. He sounds either spoiled or immature. Just because you are having a baby, doesn't necessarily mean you should be living together. Why isn't he working full time at one job, or two part time jobs?

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If you decide not to move in with him, make sure you get court ordered child support, and have it garnished from his wages. Being he owns a home, why isn't he living in it? Something sounds off here.

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November 4, 20130 found this helpful

If you are going to live together, and you have a child together, and are going to share incomes, than you should have a share in property that he owns as well. If he is not willing to commit to that, than I think that he is not really committing to your relationship, and I don't think that you should be moving in together. Whose house are you going to live in?

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I certainly don't think that you should commit all of your income, which is more than his, and then he is spending some of his on this house on which you have no claim. If you decide to go ahead with this, you may want to contact a lawyer to draw up a pre-nup -- which should include a clause that ensures that you are not supporting the entire household. I don't actually think that this fellow is ready for a commitment and a family, and don't think you should move in with him. However, that is just my opinion, take it for what it is worth.

I believe if you do move in with him, you should each contribute a set amount - the same set amount - to the running of the household and the support of the baby. With whatever is left, he can buy his house, and you will have your independence, and can bank the cash for the future.

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You might need it to move out on your own. Or maybe you will be fine. Throughout my married life, my husband and I shared household expenses, but we maintained separate bank accounts. It worked very well for us.

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November 4, 20130 found this helpful

This guy wants to have his cake, eat it and get you to help pay for it! You want to keep your independence. Are you moving in just for the sake of the baby or do you love each other? I do wonder what would happen if for any reason you couldn't work for a time after the baby is born.

It all needs discussing and believe me, if you can't talk now it just gets harder as you go along. I agree with Redhatterb, something sounds off. Please think it over good and hard. Best of luck.

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Marg from England.

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