Sharing Expenses With Girlfriend

I have been living with my girl for 4 months; her mom kicked her out so I told her she could come stay with me. I have roommates so I have to hide her or I would get kicked out of the house.


I didn't ask her to help me pay rent. I don't think it would make sense, but on the third month I asked her to help me pay utilities. I didn't need her to, but just wanted to see if she wanted to contribute something. Of course she said no. I also bought groceries and gave her food money. She never wanted to eat or cook what I bought so she asked me for food money. I couldn't let her stay hungry so I gave it to her; she always eats out.

5 days ago she told me that her mom told her that if I am not able to help her out with paying her phone bill which is 1000$, don't ask me why it's just that much, I was no good for her. I said, but you don't pay rent, why do you keep asking me for money? I make 2000$ a month it's not like I'm making a lot.

She also said she is making 13 per hour, but she is actually making 10, always getting late for work, and not even willing to work overtime when she knows she needs the money. She told me that I have to pay the 1000$. I said no way, I'm not. I told her that I would buy her a phone for 200$; a brand new one and get her a prepaid card for 40$ a month. When I left for work she texted me that she had bought the phone even though I said don't do it. She had already taken a lease contract for 1600$ for 1 year for an iPhone 10. She told me that I had promised I would buy her a phone and she demanded the 200$ from me.

I told her we were done and that I couldn't take it no more because I think that her behavior was really irresponsible. Now all her stuff is still here and now she is asking why I've been so mean to her. She wants to come back. What do you think I should do? She just started a new job at 15$ per hour, but she still owes 1500$ on her credit card, 1000$ on old phone, 600$ on a car and insurance, and 130$ for the new phone.


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September 19, 20180 found this helpful

You are being used by this girl and her mother and I think you know that. You can tell her that your finances have changed and that you need help with utilities. If she says no, give her a deadline to move out and stick to it.

In the future, be honest. There is a reason you didnt tell your roommates about her. There is a reason she was kicked out of the house. Life is not a free ride and everyone should pay what he or she is able

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September 19, 20180 found this helpful

I don't usually recommend podcasts to people but this one may help you. I listened to it yesterday and for a totally different purpose found it helpful.


It could be used to your situation. It's long but powerful.

People are who they are and do not change. You can change how you react or walk away or both. You need to take care of yourself. You are in my prayers!

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