We were giving an adult daughter a nice rider lawn mower as we moved and have no need of it. It had sat at our house for 3 weeks. Well, as would happen it wasn't available to be ridden to her house when she wanted to. Then she proceeded to talk very nastily to my granddaughter about where the rider had been and texting me as to how much I had disregarded her. Would an apology be too much to ask before giving her the rider. As for me I would not give it to her for behaving in such a manner, she is 50.
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All depends if you can "forgive and forget" it is up to you as to how to handle it. There maybe reasons why she was so upset to the point of being rude. I would talk it out with her before you give it, I am sure there are others who would be really happy to have it.
What were the original arrangements for getting the rider to her? Were you supposed to deliver it or was she supposed to get it? Three weeks is a long time to sit in front of the house.
I WOULD TELL HER HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL,THEN LET IT GO.
GIVE HER THE MOWER SHE'S 50,SHE COULD OF BEEN HAVING A BAD DAY!
This is a tough one.
Demanding an apology usually makes things worse, but a kind, quiet and loving conversation usually clears the air.
Could be she was just having a bad day and you were in the middle.
Could be something bigger.
Ask gently..like hey, the other day it seemed to me that you were really angry about the mower. What was going on that made you so upset?
Then sit back and listen. If it was nothing but her having a bad day, send hugs and forget about it.
If it was an issue. Talk in "I" statements and work it out! I statements are like I felt bad when you yelled.....or I don't understand what you mean by....or I wish...If you say things like YOU made me feel bad when you yelled or YOU don't make sense when you talk or YOU are always...you will put her on the defensive.
Maybe you both owe each other an apology. Grudges suck (forgive the language) so I always encourage people to talk...but quietly and nicely and with respect!
Prayers for all!!
There is always two sides of the story. Did the adult daughter need the lawn mower or want it?
Or, you were just giving it because there is no need? Was she mad because she accommodated a date agreed upon and it could not be done?
Is this is the first dilemma you all had together? If so, I'd just let it be. If it's always been like this then that's another story.
Problems can arise over even smaller issues so don't think of this as a big issue but try to understand where she was coming from when she made these remarks.
Are you sure everything was stated correctly by your granddaughter? Could there have been words on both sides?
If you have had similar problems like this in the past and did not completely resolve the issues then you may not be able to resolve this either.
From what you have written, it appears there is more to all of this and maybe neither one of you have the whole picture. Sounds like time for a calm discussion (be the better one and listen first) and hopefully this can be resolved as it would be a shame to let something like this keep you apart.
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