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3 Cats that Don't Get Along

I have three cats. The first being the biggest and the third still a kitten. The kitten is not the problem here, he gets along with everyone. The oldest cat lives in EXTREME fear of the middle cat, and pees everywhere because of it and cries all the time. The middle cat is aggressive with him and always looking to attack him when possible.


I'm not sure what to do about this. My oldest cat barely comes out of the closet because he feel safe in there. How do I get the middle cat to stop attacking? How can I train him that it is wrong?

Any suggestions would help.

Thanks alot,


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July 29, 20040 found this helpful

My sister has a similar problem and has been trying a product called Feliway. It's a behavior modification system, available at pet stores (but is cheaper thru the Drs Foster & Smith website or catalog). You can plug the system into the wall, or spray a particular spot if that's the case, and it supposedly emits the positive pheromones that cats naturally emit. The idea is that it creates a space that cats would not want to soil, because it has a positive "scent" (you can't smell it, but somehow it relaxes the cat). My two cats do the "attack" thing, but usually the calico is "attacking" the black cat when she enters the room.


I'm not sure that's a behaviour problem as much, because sometimes, that's just how cats are with each other (my guess is the middle cat is attempting to exert his/her dominance over the older cat - if the middle cat lived there first, cats are very territorial and the middle cat may be attempting to protect its space. Even if it didn't live there first, it's probably trying to be dominant. My cats tend to resolve their own differences, and the black kitty runs back upstairs (my calico seems to walk around very proudly after that, so I try to admonish her, albeit gently ...).

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February 17, 20190 found this helpful

Get a spray bottle spray the little bastard till it stops. Everytime u reach for the bottle it will know

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By Missy (Guest Post)
July 29, 20040 found this helpful

I have 4 cats, 2 exhibiting the same behavior as yours. We got them all at the same time, the oldest, a boy, who is also the largest is not the agressor. Our girl cat, 3 years younger and also large, will go up and smack him across the face every time she shes him, which is all day, everyday. He just sits there and cries. If I see her do it, I gently pop her on the nose and make her go into another room.


You could also try spraying her with a spray bottle of water everytime your cat exhibits agressive behavior. I have the plug in Feliway system, since the bullied cat had inappropriate litter box behavior. The Feliway works for urinating in inappropriate places but it will not do anything for the agressive behavior in the other cat.

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By Linda H (Guest Post)
July 29, 20040 found this helpful

A few ideas that I've used with my 5 indoor cats; hope something helps!

Make sure you have plenty of litter boxes in different areas. Same with food and water. It helps if cats can avoid each other for these necessities.

When you catch one cat being aggressive, try to startle it with loud noises, coins in a coffee can, etc. A quick squirt with water in a spray bottle on the aggressor can help too.


Make several "perches" available. My oldest likes to curl up in shoeboxes, so I have several in high and low spots. I have a few 3 story kitty condos in desirable window spaces. Each has their favorite spot, but when one is displaced by another, they can find another place to hang out.

Give each kitty attention when there is no conflict. Don't reward bad behavior with your attention.

Throughly clean up accidents - I use enzyme digesters, and they really work. I had to wrap couch cushions in plastic for awhile until the smell was completely gone, but so far, so good - no more peeing.

Finally, you may just have to separate your cats. I have a feral cat I took in after she was mauled by a dog. She is extremely timid, and the other cats trapped and tormented her. So she has her own room. Kitty 5 was a young kitten abandoned by her mother, now she lives happily with the feral kitty in a spare bedroom. My friends think I am nuts, but what the heck - I use the room for storage anyway, with everything in plastic stacking bins with lids.


Good luck!

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July 29, 20040 found this helpful

Please don't thump kitty in the nose, especially when she is already worked up, you may end up getting bit when she learns that hands aren't always nice. Squirt bottles only work when you are right there, they don't teach the cat not to be aggressive, just not to do it when you are there.

You don't say if all of the cats are spayed/neutered and how long they have lived together or if the problem has always existed between these two cats. The first thing to do is a trip to the vet to make sure that the oldest cat is healthy. What you see as fear of the other cat may be discomfort from any number of conditions. Cats are very good at hiding pain, and the other cat may sense that your oldest is unwell. If the cat is healthy and everyone is spayed/neutered, then you have to think if the problem has always existed. If these two cats have never gotten along, then it may be simply a personality conflict; just like people, animals don't always like everyone that they meet. If the conflict is something new, when did it start? Did the older cat go to the vet and therefore smell different when he came home? Did it start when the new kitten came home, changing the dynamic? Sometimes one event can cause a friendship to crumble. If there was a frienship, it can be rebuilt. If they have lived together a long time and never gotten along, you may need to separate them or possibly find one a new home. If they have only been together a short time, you can help them build a positive relationship.


1. Baths work well. Each cat will smell like the other and will be more worried about getting dry than the other cat. They may even move to mutual grooming.

2. A dab of canned food on top of each cat's head may distract enough to encourage mutual grooming.

3. In extreme cases, you may need to start with each cat in a different room. After a few days, switch rooms. Then a few days later, one cat roams the house while the other stays in the room. A few more days and switch again. Once the anxiety has been reduced a little in this fashion, each cats gets placed in a plastic carrier on opposite sides of the room, facing each other. Place a blanket and some of their favorite canned food in there with them and leave them for 15 to 30 minutes, then put them back in their rooms (note: this works best if you have trained your cat to enjoy the carrier and they are both hungry). Next day, move the carriers closer. Don't try to rush any of these steps, if the older cat gets anxious, move back to where he felt safe (even back to both cats in separate rooms). When the carriers can be placed face to face and touching without any fear or aggression, start again on opposite sides of the room, feeding the cats their special treats outside of the carrier. Each day, move a little closer, then put them back in their own rooms. Eventually they may eat from the same plate. This training may take months, be patient if you are committed to keeping them both and keeping them happy.

4. Plenty of play and interaction for both cats, alone and when the other is in the room. Try not to show any favoritism, but let them know they are loved.

5. Plenty of litter boxes (three cats should have at least four litter boxes) and one litter box on each level of the house. Plenty of hiding places and window perches.

Good luck. Feel free to contact me if this isn't totally clear.


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By Linne Dodds (Guest Post)
July 29, 20040 found this helpful

Time to get out the old squirt bottle or squirt gun & squirt the agressor.Also say NO!!! very loudly when you do this . This is pretty natural behavior in the wild & is rather like the old Western Movies where the younger gunfighter shows up to challenge the old Fastest gun .

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By Kailtyn (Guest Post)
December 16, 20040 found this helpful

Whenever he or she attacks the other cat make sure you are always moving the cat who is being aggresive, never move the other cat if they didn't do anything wrong. And when he attacks try putting in a place he doesn't like , like a carrier and leave him in there no food or water for about an hour to 45 minutes everytime he does that, that shoudl teach him. Oh and when you let himout don't prasie him at all. IT WORKS!!

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January 8, 20190 found this helpful

This is something you should never do to a cat! Cats are very sensitive creatures and remember how people especially their owners treat them. You should never lock them away, withhold food and/or water from any pet as a punishment! I have worked in veterinary medicine for over 12 years as a Registered Veterinary Technician with a degree in Veterinary Technology. I have seen so many cases of behavior problems with dogs and cats because their owners do not know how to properly and safely correct undesirable behavior. There are other options available that can be beneficial such as animal behaviorists, Feliway, and Rescue Remedy. Correcting behavior takes time and patience. Please do not ever hit, lock away, or withhold food or water from your pet as a punishment, it will have a damaging impact on your pets psychological well-being. DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS PERSON!!

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By Pam Schmitt (Guest Post)
October 19, 20050 found this helpful

I just moved in with my in-laws they have a cat they have raised since it was first born they bottle fed it .Its a black cat. I have a Himalayan that I rescued a yr ago she is between5-7 yrs.old .I have had her to the vet she is fixed.However the black cat is not.My inlaws cat is extremely aggressive towards her the ripp each others fur out its terrible. its been three weeks and they still dont get along. what should I do?(

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By Faith (Guest Post)
March 26, 20060 found this helpful

I live on a farm. Have had this cat with me for about 1 year then one day this strange cat came to my farm and she has stayed ever since but the strange cat is now a barn cat and the other cat is a house cat well the house cat is spayed the barn cat is not. The house cat will go up to the barn and attack the barn cat. So I will take the house cat back up to the house and she will find a way out and go up to the barn again
Can any one help?

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March 27, 20060 found this helpful

For Barn v. House = My mother had a house cat that did that....he was old and fixed. He "ruled" the house, regardless of who lived outside. Male cats are extremely territorial, regardless of being fixed. I would do my best to keep them separated and look into Leukemia testing...they tend to catch it from other cats.

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May 16, 20060 found this helpful

A few days ago, we got a new cat to the house hold. He's male and fixed and about 18 months old. We already have a female cat that we've had for just over a year, and have been living in this home for 8 months. So she has taken this whole house as her territory. She has stayed with my parents who also have cats for a few weeks and how she acted when she stayed there was totally different then with the new cat in the house. When she was in unfamiliar territory with strange cats, she hid alot in my Mom's bed. Though that's where the other cats would sleep. The other two cats were never hostile with her, but she always ran hissing and growling, though never attacking. She does the same when my parents bring their poodle over here when they come visit. The poodle doesn't want to attack, but is rather curious about her (because she plays with 2 cats at home all the time), and my kitty will cry and run away if she's around and hide under my bed. Now with the new cat, the moment he stepped foot in the house, she would go up to him, sniff, howl and hiss. He doesn't much care unless she gets too close with her hissing and he'll start growling and eventually chase her upstairs, under my bed. The female tends to have her safe spot in my bedroom while the male cat has seem to have taken over the living room. The living area is where the cat food and water is and there is one litter box in the basement. When the female cat comes into the room, he will follow her and try to get close to her until she gets too angry and runs away (or we seperate them). I will look into getting the Feliway that many people have mentioned, but seperating them isn't easy. The bathrooms are small and all the other spare rooms are bedrooms (people sleep in them) so it's hard to find a sanitary spot for another litter box. I can easily bring another dish of food and water into my bedroom for the female cat though. Is there any more tips that people can share? I just find it so much easier to train them when they are kittens, but these two are both the same age.

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By (Guest Post)
March 2, 20080 found this helpful

I have two cats: a female about 7, & a 3 year male. Taffy is very aggressive but she finally accepted Coco after a few weeks.. He was about 7 weeks when we got him. Now, Taffy is starting to attack Coco for no reason at all!! Just started to chase him around the house, & spit & snarl.. I thought she was going to kill him!! We separated them but my husband is fed up with the situation & says he's gonna throw Taffy out in the cold if she can't behave... what do I do? Poor Coco is afraid to move. He's in my computer room right now, & Taffy is under our bed, but she comes up to the door & lets out sounds like she is possessed... I don't know what set her off. I don't want to lose either one of my babies, especially to injury or death...

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By solia (Guest Post)
July 10, 20080 found this helpful

I have 3 cats the oldest is 6yrs old the middle is 2yrs old and the youngest is still a kitten the loves being around the other cats but the oldest hates them both and the middle one just hates the youngest only and soon the youngest is gonna have to become an outside cat along with the other two and I don't know how to make them get along! Someone PLEASE help me!

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By forrest (Guest Post)
August 6, 20080 found this helpful

I have 2 older (12 year old black short hairs). They are "twin" brother and sister. I moved in with my girlfriend who already had a 6 year old male. We bought 2 kittens together. They are a 17 week male toyger, and a 9 month old male toyger.

So that's 4 males and 1 female.

Black male (12 years old)
Black female (12 years old)
Grey male (6 years old)
Orange male Toyger (9 months old)
Orange male Toyger (17 weeks old)

All 5 cats are spayed/neutered

The female cat does not really like any other cat or animal, except for her brother from the same litter. She tolerates the 6 year old male, and doesn't care for the kittens, but she also doesn't care if they are around. She is not afraid of them, and only hisses when they bother her. She is in affected by the new kittens as far as where she lays.

The 6 year old grey male is very skittish ever since a dog bit his tail off. He was very afraid of the Toygers at first, but has since befriended the youngest kitten and is starting to warm up to the older kitten.

The 2 kittens are not afraid of any cat or anyone. They are very pleasant, and playful as well, as very forward and outgoing. This makes them very "pushy" when it comes to the other cats personal space to some extent. But they are kittens and that's just how they are I suppose. I do find it strange that even when the older cats are hissing and being very threatening, both Toygers could care less. They don't flinch or show any sign of being afraid or alarmed. They are so calm, at times they will stop and literally yawn while the other cat swings and hisses.

I have also never seen either Toyger act aggressively towards any of the other cats or each other. They are aggressive in what looks like playing to me. Could the Toygers be purposely aggressive, even though they don't look like it?

Because what I don't understand is my oldest male cat (12 years old), absolutely hates the 9 month old Toyger. And its him specificaly. he has no problem with the 17 week old. And he is the friendliest cat of the bunch. He has never shown aggression towards any person, cat or animal in his whole life. And has never been afraid either. Super confident, and easily the largest cat of the 5.

So why does he hate the Toyger? He stays away from everyone because of it, and lays upstairs. He normally never does that. And when the Toyger runs up to him to play, he almost looks afraid...which doesn't make sense to me since he is much larger. What going on here? How can I get them to be friends?

The Toyger has a little Bengal in it, could that be omething the other cats smell, and are alarmed by? Is the Toyger being secretly aggressive towards my older cat, even though it looks like harmless playfulness?

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By Taylor Householder (Guest Post)
September 24, 20080 found this helpful

My boy cat got fixed and my girl cat is not and always attacks him what do I do?

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By Katrina (Guest Post)
September 27, 20080 found this helpful

I've had my eldest cat Nina for two years. Recently (2weeks ago) I rescued a 4 week old kitten and shes a part of the family now. Since shes been here Nina follows her, sniffs her behind or hisses loudly! I don't want to make Nina feel neglected so I tend to both of them but I don't think its fair the Deedee has to stay in the room all day just cause Nina's a little grumpy & the funniest part? We adopted Nina would think she'd be kind to her new sister since she was once abandoned rite? Now what I should I do?

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