7 Year Old Wetting Herself?

My daughter is 7 and she wets herself all the time. I have 2 children who live w/my parents due to their father being so abusive while we were still together. The kids never were in direct line of the abuse plus my daughter was only 18 months old at that time. My parents shame her and belittle her. How do I make them see that they are only making it worse for her, and what do I do to help my daughter? I'm afraid the kids in her class may be picking on her. The whole situation enrages me so badly and I don't feel like I can really do anything to ease her pain. It also breaks my heart.

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Judy
Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts

December 11, 20181 found this helpful

Take your daughter to the doctor for a complete physical. She may have a urinary tract infection or some other physical reason for bed wetting.

If it is not physical, invest in waterproof pads and nighttime diapers. This will keep the wetness contained, and cut down on laundry.

You may need to take your daughter and the entire family to therapy. They will teach you how to deal with this situation.

Iceskater
Silver Answer Medal for All Time! 320 Answers

December 11, 20180 found this helpful

I agree with Judy -- the child should be evaluated both by a pediatrician and a family therapist. I know this might be expensive but bed-wetting is a cry for help.

Maybe start with school nurse or teacher for referrals.

Pghgirl40
Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 196 Feedbacks

December 11, 20181 found this helpful

Bed wetting is a complex issue. As the others have said, it may take a two fold approach with a doctor and a psychologist. Perhaps the school psychologist can help if you think your daughter is being bullied at school (and maybe even help with the grandparents behavior).

Perhaps the grandparents can go with you to the meetings so they can learn coping techniques also and stop shaming her.

Web MD has a really good article that you could share with the family: www.webmd.com/.../bed-wetting-myths-debunked#2

This one has some slightly different points:

health.clevelandclinic.org/.../

These are trusted sites and you can use it for talking points when at the doctor and with the school psychologist.

Prayers for all that this can be resolved and not leave permanent scars on your daughter's psyche.

cybergrannie
Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks

December 12, 20180 found this helpful

There are so many questions that are unanswered that it is really difficult to even suggest where to start with helping your daughter.

From your comments it seems that your children still live with your parents and you live elsewhere? Or do you also live with your parents and help take care of your children?

Who has legal custody of your 2 children - you or your parents? This is important as the one with legal custody may be the only one that has any control over how to handle this.
You say your daughter was only 18 months old when she was first taken to live with your parents; so you are saying they have been there for over 5 years?
How often do you see your daughter and have "alone" time with her? I ask this question because many times a separation at this young age can cause all kinds of physiological problems and these can lead in any direction.
Why do you think your parents belittle your daughter? Is it possible they do not think they should be responsible for 2 young children anymore? You do not state your parents age but hopefully they are not seniors and are still able to deal with children this young.

I only ask these questions because these are the types of questions a counselor will be asking as they will need to know all about your relationship with your children as well as what type of relationship exists between you and your parents before they can develop a working plan.
If you have legal custody, I believe you should start with your daughter's school as this is probably her biggest source of trying to cope with a problem that she cannot control. They do have counselors and if they feel it is necessary, they may be able to help you get everyone into family counseling at no charge to you.
Everyone will need to understand that counseling is not to find fault but to find reasons for your daughter having to deal with this problem.
Many families cannot go through counseling because they cannot face the true reasons the problem exists and what has to change before the problem will go away.

Hopefully, you and your parents will go to counseling before your daughter has to go through even more "torture" as I feel sure she blames herself but just cannot find a way to do better.
Hope you can be on the way to solving this problem soon.

Madmom05

December 25, 20180 found this helpful

if she just started doing this it could be a sign of sexual abuse and i would talk to her about it lightly making sure she knows thats not right for anyone to do to her no matter who it iis and to tell you if it happens and that if she does you will make sure that she doesn't have to see her abuser ever again if she's worried about that. Also take her to a counselor as well if you still have trouble.

Tracey C.

February 8, 20190 found this helpful

find out why this is happening
talk to her and ask her why she dose it
take her to a councilor
be patient with her and find out why she dose this
let her know she can talk open and honest

Tracey C.

February 9, 20190 found this helpful

ask her why she dose it
tell her she can be honest and open
take her to a councilor

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