I am having trouble with my 5 year old wetting on herself during the day. This happens approximately 2-3 times a day. I need answers as to why this could be happening and how to react.
By Kimberly from Pittsburg, CA
Definitely speak to your pediatrician, especially if she has been dry previously. You need to rule out things like diabetes and urinary tract infections. Please don't delay!
Yes, see a doctor. And what ever you do, do not feel it's something you are doing. Is someone bullying her? Is she frightened of something? Has she had a sudden loss lately like a pet or a friend? Often physical reactions are caused by mental or emotional problems. Good luck!!
I know when I was young I had a problem with wetting in my pants. I just could not hold it. I had six bladder operations before the age of six.
My little girl had the same problem. I was at my wits end. Came to find out she was alergic to sulphur and this is what was causing the incontence. Unusual, I know, but when we avoided the sulphur, the problem disappeared. You may consider having her checked for a hidden allergy.
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My 6 year old daughter is having accidents almost everyday. We thought it was a medical problem, but the doctor says no. We tried counseling due to her being adopted, but that is not working. I thought it might be an attention getter, due to her having a younger sibling. We have tried everything. We need some help. Any suggestions?
By STEPHANIE from Dayton, OH
I wouldn't make a big deal about it. My granddaughter was "trained" at 2 and has started wetting the bed recently and having accidents. She is 6 also. I see that discouraged look in her eyes when my daughter fusses at her. Being a little older I just feel like there are bigger issues to do battle over but she feels it is unacceptable since she knows better.
I am a retired therapist for adoptive/foster children. This is common in children when we are not sure of their history. If they had been abused they may be experiencing flashbacks or fears which can lead to wetting. Or, it may be developmental. Age 6 is a common age for wetting accidents and they usually grow out of it.
Certain food allergies can cause an overactive bladder. It might help to have your child tested for allergies and put her on an elimination diet.
If you want an old ladies advice, that is an old lady that has 7 grown kids, 25 or so grandchildren, (it is hard to keep up with the step-grands these days, but they do count), and i lost track at about 12 great grands with one or two on the way. (I am not senile, nor am i joking about the numbers, it is just crazy sometimes).
Anyway, here is my advice to you, spend your time loving, reinforcing her position in the family, but also give her jobs, make her place in the family an important one, as sometimes a feeling of unimportance can cause the "little" diversions from normal behavior. Also, sometimes, the ability to "hold it" just seems to weaken, and then a few weeks, or even months, later, all's well again.
Mostly, just don't make a big deal about it. The less you stress it, the less it will make her upset if it is something she can't seem to control at this particular time. All the best to you and your family. Loretta, (and I am only 70)
Please just don't make a big deal of it! My brother wet himself (whether at play or sleeping) for what seemed like forever and he finally got over it not long after our parents quit making an issue out of it.
They would fret and run him from doctor to doctor and once the physical part was ruled out they took him for mental/emotional help about wet sheets and wet pants. Well, when the children's hospital finally told them he's a normal boy they stopped their fretting and the disappointed looks on their faces and he stopped wetting himself in a really short time! That was almost five decades ago so some things are best left to nature, time and and not worrying!
With adoption there is a high probability of FAS or FAE (fetal alcohol syndrome/effects). FAS kids can have all kinds of mental health issues but also medical, one is bladder issues. My dd (adopted) bio-mom (also FAS) had one kidney significantly smaller than the other. She also had problems with her bladder.
ADHD: If your child is ADHD they are running and moving all day, by the time they finally sleep they can zonk out so hard they can't wake up.
One of mine (adopted with FAS, ADHD etc etc) actually fell from top bunk at night and never woke up - he slept hard and was 11 before he was actually dry over 1/2 the time
Allergies: Allergies are another problem that can cause urine issues. When mine flare up I have to pee all night, so do my kids & dh. Ria
My daughter is 7 and she wets herself all the time. I have 2 children who live w/my parents due to their father being so abusive while we were still together. The kids never were in direct line of the abuse plus my daughter was only 18 months old at that time. My parents shame her and belittle her.How do I make them see that they are only making it worse for her, and what do I do to help my daughter? I'm afraid the kids in her class may be picking on her. The whole situation enrages me so badly and I don't feel like I can really do anything to ease her pain. It also breaks my heart.
Take your daughter to the doctor for a complete physical. She may have a urinary tract infection or some other physical reason for bed wetting.
If it is not physical, invest in waterproof pads and nighttime diapers. This will keep the wetness contained, and cut down on laundry.
You may need to take your daughter and the entire family to therapy. They will teach you how to deal with this situation.
I agree with Judy -- the child should be evaluated both by a pediatrician and a family therapist. I know this might be expensive but bed-wetting is a cry for help. Maybe start with school nurse or teacher for referrals.
Bed wetting is a complex issue. As the others have said, it may take a two fold approach with a doctor and a psychologist. Perhaps the school psychologist can help if you think your daughter is being bullied at school (and maybe even help with the grandparents behavior).
Perhaps the grandparents can go with you to the meetings so they can learn coping techniques also and stop shaming her.
Web MD has a really good article that you could share with the family: www.webmd.com/
This one has some slightly different points:
These are trusted sites and you can use it for talking points when at the doctor and with the school psychologist.
Prayers for all that this can be resolved and not leave permanent scars on your daughter's psyche.
There are so many questions that are unanswered that it is really difficult to even suggest where to start with helping your daughter.
I have twin girls that are almost 7 years old that still wet their pants during the day, but not at night. I have had them to the doctor and they have run all kinds of test on them. They all come back negative. So I know there is nothing wrong with them medically.They will both go to the bathroom, but instead of sitting on the toilet to pee they would rather pee in their pants. So my question is how do I get them to stop wetting themselves during the day?
Have you found out if they're afraid of the toilet? Some kids are afraid of the sound the toilet makes or believe they can be flushed down the toilet.
If they are especially petite they may feel like they are constantly going to fall in while balancing on the edge of the seat. You might try holding onto them while they go or putting an arm around their back.
At 7 years old this is rather strange. Your girls are being lazy to go to the toilet during the day. You might not have another choice but to take them to the toilet yourself. Stand with them and make them go pee in the toilet. If they only wet their pants during the day they are crying out for your attention. If one twin decides to wet her pants the other will follow. It is a game of who gets the most attention from mommy.
Any update on 6 year old peeing in house? I'm going through same thing.
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