Decorating a Bedroom

I'm going to give you several ideas, but down at the bottom the best idea is the one with the *** at the front. Pay special attention to this one!

You could hang one or several shower curtain rods from hooks in the ceiling & pull them closed when his daughter stays, as a way to "draw boundaries" & know my sister & I would have LOVED something like this, as we were ALWAYS fighting over whose space was who's.

About the design & the colors. Design the bedroom for the one who lives there permanently, but for colors, go the paint store & pick out 2 each of a BUNCH of paint chips, then give each child a set & see where they go. Tell them they need to find a color they BOTH like, I'm sure there is at least ONE color they BOTH like & tell them if they can't compromise on one color then you'll leave the room WHITE! Now about your daughter, you can do her design in glow-in-the dark paint (which glows under black-light, but is invisible when it's day time). Only turn the black light on when the other child in NOT there. PLUS, she can pull the shower curtain across her part of the room.

Now, if you decide to use bunk beds instead of 2 single beds (do NOT make them share a larger bed! There would be massive fighting!) If you DO decide on bunk-beds then have your daughters be the bottom, that way she can have privacy (at 14 you do NEED privacy, more than at 11) because you can easily hang curtains around the bottom bunk with HER paint inside & HER black light inside that space. The rest of the room. It's best if you keep it white or they find a color they BOTH like. But if you do curtain off a bottom bunk or a corner for your daughter then you should tell your daughter, well maybe you should let your (stepsister?) have her way a bit since you get to do your own thing in your space. If your daughter wants the top bunk then hang the curtains from the ceiling. OR: You can hang curtains around BOTH of the girl's beds & let them decorate inside the curtains around the bed as they like.

Also hang a LOW WATT light inside by each bed so the girls can read & study. A low watt light (40 watts or under) because of fire & make doubly sure the light that is hung can't touch the curtains, no matter where the curtains are. Or a fire can easily start. LED lights, florescent lights & rope lighting doesn't get hot. These are your best choices. Like a small florescent light that's meant to go under the kitchen cabinets.

I went through the same exact thing you are when I remarried, but my daughter was 7 & his was 10. But then of course, 3 years later they were 11 & 14. But I have to say, it's easier putting girls together in the same room when they are several years younger, like I did. But the REAL fight came because His daughter wanted all of my husbands attention (& had always gotten it because her mom was dead). She didn't want me in her way. This mellowed out after several years when he finally put his foot down & said to her with conviction: "THIS is now YOUR MOTHER & MY WIFE, GET USED TO IT" . That's all she needed to hear (him finally putting his foot down) & she mellowed out & started getting along with me beautifully & 6 years later when my ex & me divorced (as friends) she was the only child who cried & was sad about the divorce. The other 3 kids could care less. When we put the girls into their room together the color choice was dictated by their wall-to-wall rug (which was unfortunately bright orange shag! YUCK!) So we decided on the colors Peach & Mint. That's another way you could go: Have 2 colors, one that's picked by each girl. Like burgundy & pink, or Red & White, or even Red, White & a tiny bit of Blue. Or pink & purple or pink & black. Or a compromise or JUST WHITE as a threat if they can't agree!

---> Here's a good idea: Maybe if you take them to Walmart to look at Bedding they can choose comforters they both like THAT MATCH... Then they can EACH choose ONE color they like from the colors in the comforter... to paint the walls. That way, everything will look great in their room & actually match their comforters. Tell them to also think about the bedrooms carpeting color when they choose the comforter.... Make sure they compromise on the comforter. (tell them "Either you 2 decide on something you BOTH like or I will pick it out MYSELF!). You may have to take them each at different times, because they may purposefully pick something the other hates just to spite the other one.

*** BEST IDEA YET: Take the girls to Walmart, then send one of them (with your boyfriend) to another isle in the store away from the bedding & Keep one girl with you. Tell the girl that's with you in the bedding isle "Pick out 2 different comforters you like". then send her away to the other isle, then say the same thing to the second girl: "Pick out 2 different comforters you like" (do NOT let her pick only ONE!, make sure she picks out TWO!) and since Walmart only has 4 or 5 different styles of comforters made for girls & teenagers, then the odds are (if each child picks 2 they like) that one of these will match & be the exact same style of comforter that the other child also picked. That way, you can buy the matching comforters that they BOTH liked, then let each child pick ONE color from the comforters (have them pick the color when the other girl isn't around because THEN they might even pick the same color!)

* Don't tell them what you are doing when you go to Walmart & have them choose their own comforters. Just say, "We're looking at comforters today, each one of you one at a time will pick 2 you like", then send the other girl away to a different isle out of ear shot so she won't know what the other girls picked. Then YOU make the final decision. But, Like I said earlier, odds are, they will pick a comforter style the other one also picked.

* When they choose their comforters, remember you're 14 year old will be 17 in 3 years, so try to pick out something she'll like in 3 years... Not to "frilly" & not to "young". Walmart has a lot of "Neon colored Daisy" prints & other "cool teenage" prints & styles of bedding & comforters w/matching wastebaskets & other accessories for a pretty good price.

The main thing is to make sure they clean that room each & EVERY day & especially before the other girl comes to visit the room should be nice & clean for her! (so she feels at home!) Buy them under-the-bed plastic storage totes & other storage containers & MAKE SURE each girl has their OWN closet (we gave our girls the master bedroom) but a closet in the hall or a linen closet will work just fine as long as it's "her own". Just make sure they can keep their clothes separate! Heaven forbid the 11 year old actually wears something that belongs to the 14 year old! Now THAT could bring disaster!

GOOD LUCK! You'll need it, with 2 hormonal girls! *grin*

May I suggest that you keep the walls and drapes and carpet neutral and allow each girl to choose her own set of sheets, bedspread, etc. that match/compliment each girl's taste preference. When the man's daughter comes to spend time with her dad, her bed will reflect her preferences too.

Neither girl need not be divided from each other while shopping and they are both made aware of how the bedroom will be shared before shopping and choosing together and that nobody is allowed to speak out against each others choices. Be fair and treat both girls the same. If one girl gets something extra, then so does the other.

Turn this situation into a fun event and make each girl feel special and very pleased with their choices. This should help bridge the gap of indifferences and perhaps down the road, both girls will be good friends and lessen rivalry between them. It shouldn't matter so much whether the bedspreads match the other bed, but pleasing each girl with her own taste preference in bedding only for starters.

I would wait to buy new drapes or curtains for the room until after the girls have their shopping spree. Maybe you can merge color choices into something really nice in fabric, walls, and carpeting to bring it all together if you don't have to remain neutral toned. This should be your decision as you don't want the room to look wild and crazy.

Paint the room white, pick neutral carpeting. They are 11 & 14, their tastes will change. Let them pick bedding for each bed. and decorate with posters etc.

OMGoodness, I'm afraid you're in for a real challenge. The way I see it, of course you want your b/f's daughter to feel "at home" in her fathers house, but it's YOUR daughter who will be living in the room.

Imagine how you would feel if you were told that you were going to live someplace, but had to acquiesce your decor to an occasional visitors taste. There is a world of difference between 14 and 11. Please try to resist the temptation to homogenize these two young individuals into a lump that becomes "the girls". They are strangers to each other, put together not of their own choosing.

I'm all for neutral. If your daughter wants Day-Glo, you might allow her to paint 'glow-in-the-dark' designs on her wall that can only be seen in the dark, or with black light. They have glow paint in most hardware stores. I'd go with a trundle bed, where one can be kept hidden under the other until needed, and perhaps set up just before your b/f's daughter arrives, so that your daughter doesn't have to constantly have her space encroached upon even in the other girls absence.

If you do this, the younger girl can choose her linens and bedspread to reflect her own taste, and not have it be a constant thorn in your daughters side.Assuming you are expecting your relationship to be long-term, I feel that the priority is fostering good will between the girls, and not allowing it to become a power struggle. Please remember that your b/f's daughter has a room at HER primary home that can totally reflect HER taste. This room is all that your daughter has. It's daunting enough for her to have to share space with someone who she, no doubt, considers a "child"

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read up on the psychology of combining a family. There is So much to learn, and there are many ways to help the process go more smoothly for all concerned. I wish you the best of luck.

You could use matching colors for all the graphics. I'd like to point out that this room will not be a good place to study. Too many visual distractions.

Why do they get any say in the matter? It's YOUR home. Avoid all dilemma and YOU decide (sounds like they'll never agree on anything anyway). I agree with "anbsmommy" - just let them pick the bedding and keep the rest neutral.

In my opinion I think that black looks really good with other dark colors and you don't want to mix pastels with dark. So maybe like a black Victorian mirror. That would look nice and cute little paintings for the wall. You can also go on google and look for tips on decorating.

I would choose white; it goes with everything. Too much dark is depressing unless you have a lot of natural light to balance.

Have you considered a Morrocan or Indian theme for the bedroom? I believe rooms designed with those two countries in mind use jewel colors. I"d use lighter shades of the same colors as the walls.

I wish I had time to decorate my room, but if I could I want the same thing as you do , ah, to relax!Soft colors, blue or green are calming, and you could use some fabrics in calming patterns for curtains and maybe to make some covered boxes that match for storage and use a lot of textures you love to make it more your own,I don't have much for shopping where I live but we have a Ross and I find some pretty neat things there so good luck with your room!

If you really want a relaxing room, (this may sound boring) you really need to stick with neutrals like taupe, beige's & other NATURAL colors. If you live where it's always hot, (like Phoenix, southern California, Texas, or Florida) then think "COOL" colors; like a beige with a cool tone added, more of a "grayish" or "bluish" beige), because these colors will "cool the room down". By the same token, If you live in an area where you are deprived of sun (Like Seattle, Alaska, or parts of Canada) Then you'll want a Golden-Beige or neutrals colors with a hint of gold or "warmer" colors. These colors will give the room a BIT more of a brighter "sunny" & less depressing look. Think "Golden-Beige" or "Golden-Tan" vs. "the cooler "grayish beiges".

--> I'd use simple neutral colors like: White, Beige, dark or light Tan, Slate, Heather, Moss, Hunter or Sage, & maybe even a bit of Charcoal, & also a TINY bit of ONE brighter color you really like from nature, like Turquoise or Blue from the sea, or Green or deep or light teal green (from the bottom of the ocean). Use Blue & other bright colors in moderation & make sure the blue is toned down with a bit of "gray". This way the blue will look more "natural" & less "juvenile".

*** Stay away from Red, Orange & Yellow, as these colors are WAY to vibrant (In fact fast food restaurants will use them when they want you to eat fast & LEAVE!) These colors won't be relaxing at all.
* If you really hate natural/neutrals, then you can also go with just white or all pastel colors. It's up to you.

As far as decorating STYLE & DECOR, It's really all about what feels comfortable to YOU. Most people like a simpler, slightly modern "Spa-Like" atmosphere(with hardly any clutter) & maybe you do to. But, If you like more a "Traditional" decor or a "More-is better" Victorian type of decor, then, by all means go for it! It's all about what YOU like! But the key to a RELAXING atmosphere, is "NATURE" because Nature is soothing!.

Think Leaves, & twigs, or Stones laying in a tray of water surrounding candles, & maybe a nice fountain in your room. You could even put a mural on one wall of trees or waves or something of the sort. If you are still having a hard time picturing this, then log on to the web & Google the word "SPAS" or "Luxury Spas". They take a look at the way they've decorated & the colors they've use & grab a clue from these guys, because that's what they do for a living, get people to RELAX...

Be sure to use some plants in your room, be they real or silk! A classy thing is to take an "up" light (under $10) & shine it from the ground to up on the plants foliage, so the leaves reflect on your wall & ceiling. Some people will trace this foliage & paint it as a shadow on their wall.

---> One last thing: Try to include something for each of your 5 senses. For example: candles with a great fragrance (smell), a soft fuzzy throw or blanket (touch), a fountain that sounds like water (hearing). Crystals that sparkle in the sun (visual). Anyway, you get the picture. If you're wondering what fragrance to use, studies show that most people prefer Vanilla (It reminds them of their mother's baking) the second most favorite is the smell of Fruit.

If you wear perfume, then your rooms' scent should not clash with your perfume. I had a friend who would shake a bit of her favorite scented power at the foot of her bed under her sheets & they always smelled so good & not to strong.
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About merging your bathroom & offices decor. You need not have the same style, but you'll need to include some of the main color from one room to the other, IF you CAN see one room when you're in the next. If you CAN'T see one room when you're in the next, you don't HAVE to include one of the other rooms' colors, but if you can, it looks best if you do.

Here's an example: Let's say you've decided to use the color Tan as your main color in your bedroom & you've chose hunter green for your office. Well, your office could include a bit of Tan in it as an accent. Or, visa-versa. Also: When you use color in a room, try to use it in at least 3 or 4 different places, that are spaced all around the whole room. If your accent color (which is usually brighter, but not always) was Burgundy, or Charcoal Gray, you'd not want it on only one side of the room, but blended around the whole room!

*It's best to choose your fabrics & bedding & shower curtains FIRST, before you choose your paint colors, because paint can always be mixed to match anything! Pick colors that make YOU happy & everything will fall into place. Here's a money saving tip: Buy your "BIG-TICKET" items in neutral colors, this way if you get board with your color pallet, you can always change your less expensive accent pieces.

I did this when I purchased my couch, I chose a deep hunter green because I know that I like flowers & nature & this color of green is in practically everything in nature. I can easily go from a Hunter green, brown & tan decor, to a hunter, lavender & purple or Hunter & Burgundy & Rose at Christmas.

* As far as bathroom fixtures & metal lamps & such, the rule of thumb is this: Silver & Aluminum is for more "Modern" & contemporary decorous, gold is for traditional & Copper & Black Metal& (like iron work) is for more "old fashioned" & "Ranch" style decors.
Hope this Helps!

I would keep the wall colors soft , as bright colors can make it difficult to relax. You can always use the brighter colors as accents, as in throw pillows, flowers arrangements, etc. Also to make it relaxing at night, you can place a bowl of lavender potpourri on the nightstand.

The most relaxing bedroom I've ever had was painted a pale gray/amethyst. When that gorgeous pale purple twilight sky appeared outside my bedroom window, the walls blended in seamlessly and it felt as if the entire room was outside. In the daytime, it was a soothing pale dove looking color. I think the official name of the paint color WAS twilight, in fact.