I am a very hairy girl. Recently many guys have told me I have a lot of hair and why don't I shave. People constantly keep eyeing my legs and hand. I'm scared to even wear half sleeved shirts, skirts, or shorts. All I wear is jeans and jackets.
I had asked my mom if she would take me to the parlour for shaving, she got really mad at me and told me that it's not time at my age (I'm in grade 8 ) and that this is all teenager's attitudes that we care about how we look and all, and then she walked away.
It would be great if anyone could tell me on how to ask my mom again and how to convince her to let me wax or shave. My elder sister was only allowed to wax when she was 16, I'm not sure if my mom will allow me too.
Please help!
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You aren't too far from being 16. I believe in Grade 8, you're about 13/14.
Perhaps you can shave or wax at home. Tell your mother how you feel and that you're uncomfortable to wear half sleeve, shirts, skirts and shorts. Even though your sister shaved at 16, everyone is different and hits puberty at different ages.
However shaving/waxing is up to you. Many people also take the minimalist route and embrace hair because it's natural. It's your option to take which route you like and let your mother know your feelings.
I have tried telling her how i feel, but she wouldnt budge. Please tell me if there is any other way to convince my mom.
Have your mother buy you a depilatory. You wont cut yourself and you can do it at home.
Ask your mum to please sit down and talk to you. Tell her of your problem , explain that you NEED to start looking more like a young lady and need to wear skirts and shorts and you can not do this with hairy legs , tell her you respect her wishes BUT for your own well being you HAVE to start removing hair on the parts of your body that shows.
Maybe, ill try this too thanks :D
I thought I was finished. I was not. This time I'm on my soap box. Hand me my megaphone, Jarvis.
First, I don't know what the onset of puberty has to do with this. Whether you have or have not reached puberty is beside the point. You have noticeably hairy legs and want to remove that hair. Period.
Now, young lady, do know this. You live in a time and are of an age when most everyone yields to peer pressure. Being like others and being accepted is paramount.
You are caught up in the fashion rut. You have unknowingly yielded to the dictates (whims) of others. So be it. Since you are already in this quandary, you should be cut some slack. I mean what guy wants to be dancing at the junior prom with a girl with hairy legs?
Learn this: Corporate America, that being, (in this case), the makers of razors, waxes, depilatories and such, and those they have brainwashed, would have you believe that you are less a lady, slovenly, uncaring if you don't remove body hair, armpits included. That's a crocka and you know it. You can be a lady with hairy legs and anyone who thinks you are not is being ignorantly prejudicial.
Think of all the wonderful women down through the ages who never shaved. They never thought about it. Nobody else did. So, there was no peer pressure to do so. I sorta doubt Joan of Arc shaved her legs.
You say, 'Well Doug, that was then and I'm living in the present'. You are correct. I just wanted to give you some food for thought.
Now about Mama. If I were you, I would never ask her about shaving, again. She knows you are uncomfortable having hairy legs. She sees how out of shame, you wear clothing to cover most of your body.
If she knows and sees this and is still reluctant to let you remove the hair, I don't think sitting down and having a little heart to heart will accomplish anything. As I understand it, she is putting more emphasis on a calendar date rather than your feelings. I think she will see this in time, but until she does, there's little you can do.
I do know this is important to you and I hope you wont have to wait much longer.
BTW, a dress does not a lady make.
i agree with you and have not shaven since my mid 20's save once and now and again when I feel like it
Edward Bernays and all those advertising folks created this fashion trend just to sell more razors. Fact.
However, a person usually has to reach that point of maturity on thier own before they defiantly take up the standard of female hairiness, otherwise the emotional and psychological cost of bucking the trend (and being thought 'dirty' or 'mannish') is too great.
I too was not allowed to shave my legs so I took my brothers razor and did it myself. She got over it. she said she wanted me to use the old electric razor she grew up with. didn't happen. LOL
You should see the Dr you may have a hormone deficiency. My daughter also has lots of hair on her body and she took hormones for a long time then gave up.
Sorry to hear she won't listen to you.
Give your Mom a little more time. I'm sure she's thinking it over. When she starts remembering how she was at your age, she'll probably say 'OK'.
Some girls have very little leg hair. If you shaved your legs, someone who didn't know you wouldn't know whether you did or not.
So what's the big deal? It's only hair. It's not like you're asking permission to have sex. Moms are a lot like Dads; they like to hold onto the reins as long as they can.
Do me a little favor, please. When you get permission to shave, and you do shave, do it for yourself because you want to and you care about your appearance; not because a boy asked you about shaving. That remark was lame.
To be honest, I don't think it should be up to your mother whether you should shave or not. If the hair is there, the need to shave is there. I'm a mother and I certainly don't advocate disobeying your mother, but in this case it is your personal choice and no one else's. Good luck to you!
I really think this is a case of 'ask forgiveness v. permission' unless your mother has specifically threatened swift punishment or reprisal for your shaving. Even in that case it may be worth it.
Though like in another answer above i would ask you to consider the purpose and actual unhealthy cultural expectation of shaving to begin with and possibly accept female hairiness, i knwo it is too much to ask of you right now.
there are 2 issues at stake here that make this an important issue and why you should stand up for your right to shave:
1. autonomy. To me what is happening is your mother is not letting you grow up. She cannot handle that you are no longer a child and so wants to micromanage your body and be in denial of your puberty. This is a REALLY UNHEALTHY DYNAMIC and can be taken to extremes where your mother objects to your wearing deodorant or a bra. Simply, you must stand up to her on principle on this
2. social contract - it is actually important to avoid harrassment and unpleasantness from one's social group, especially in little issues like this. It is important for one's well being and one's success as a social being within the group to avoid becoming the scapegoat or weirdo. Especially at this young age where you are just now learning how to be an autonomous member of society, and having to confront gender roles, social roles, etc. Later when you're older and have become more confident in who you are you can CHOOSE to defy these and other social mores but to start off at your age does not lead to great results.
In all things, whether society, art, music, cooking, etc, the approach that leads to best results is "LEARN the rules very well... so that later you can break them"
Ask your Mom when you arr alone with her....ask her to please listen to why you want to do this. To help your self esteem, to feel better. Maybe if you earn the money for your wax or razors....razors are expensive.
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