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Asking Your Parents to Let You Shave

Category Shaving
Young girls and boys are often hesitant about asking their parents to let them begin shaving. This is a guide about asking your parents to let you shave.
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October 14, 20052 found this helpful

My name is Katie and I am 14 years old. I am a freshman in high school, and I dont shave. I would really like to but I am just too afraid to ask my mom. I am so embarresd by it and I need your adivce. I was wondering if I should just start (buy my own razors and go for it) or if I should just ask my mom.

I am still afraid to. I have started high school and it seems that all I can think about is hiding my legs and avoiding showing them at all (because at our school we have a uniform skirt). Leg shaving is a very common subject for girls my age to talk about (except me). All my friends talk about shaving and when they do I pretend to go bathroom or do something else. Imagine spending all of your time hiding or covering up your ugly, dark hairy legs. That is how I feel all the time. Please help.

Katie (14) from Cincinnati, OH

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October 14, 20051 found this helpful
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Katie, go ahead and talk to your mom. You might be surprised its something she prob has not given any thought to and it is something you have. I remember being the middle sister my mom one day

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said 'you need to watch your sister shave or ask what to do' oops I was so mortified. Anyway my oldest sis used Nair hair removal creams and I still use this method the best. And some company like
Jergens makes a lotion for your legs that will slow
growth of hair or something similar. Good luck. At 14 you really need to talk to your mom or if this is still too hard try a sister, Aunt or even dear old dad. Good luck and remember your mom was 14 once too!

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By Kelly (Guest Post)
October 16, 20051 found this helpful
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I wish I could give you a big hug! My husband and I work with our church's youth group and I have had similar talks with a lot of girls on all subjects. You need to go to mom and say that you would like to ask her something that is very important to you and ask her to listen to you all the way before she answers. Sometimes moms tune kids out with out even meaning too. Explain maturely why you want to do this and then be willing to listen to her.

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I view high school as the beginning of learning how to be an adult and that means having mature conversations about mature things. I really want you think about this thing... If you can't talk to your mom about shaving how on earth are you going to talk to her about more important things like drinking, sex, friends.... ? You can do this, she is your mom and she loves you A LOT even if she doesn't always show it.

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December 26, 20050 found this helpful
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Katie, your own mother was 14 years old at one time too! She went through the exact same thing as you are going through now. It's hard to think of our parents as ever being kids, but they were. I think crys7881 had a great idea, just ask about getting razors. Don't buy cheap disposals either, because as it was already mentioned, they feel like "cheese graters" and it won't be a good experience for you!

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By 0 found this helpful
May 6, 2018

I am a 13 year old girl and I really want to be able to shave. My legs are becoming hairy and my armpits are too. A while ago I asked my mum, but she said my hair was too fine and is not noticeable (it is) and she walked away. Since it's summer I really want to shave because we wear shorts in PE and all the other girls shave.

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Any advice would be great! Xx

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May 6, 20181 found this helpful
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If I were you I would sit down with your mum and have a daughter/mum talk. Explain the situation and how important it is for you to start shaving, find out if she shaves her legs or under arms, and ask her how she would feel if she were in company and was afraid to show her legs or raise her arm.

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May 7, 20181 found this helpful
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Your Mom may feel you might be wanting to shave a little too soon. It is the majority of your life once started and she may be wanting you to hold off a little longer since your hair is fine and light colored; not so noticeable. Now that it's there, it won't go away and will continue to grow and thicken in the area. Perspiration odor will be more prevalent and you are a young lady who cares about hygiene especially now you are needing; not wanting which are two different things. Needing to begin feminine hygiene in such areas that makes you cleaner and odor free as not to offend others especially in PE where physical activity is performed.

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Sweating produces odor that is an obvious factor and you don't want to be embarrassed or offend others. Being cleaner is a good thing. That's how I would speak to my Mom about the topic and see if it changes her mind. I would not state that "all the other girls" do it. That's really not what a Mom wants to hear as a solid explanation as to why you feel desire to shave. Good luck with your Mom/Daughter conversation.

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By 0 found this helpful
December 29, 2006

My dad won't let me shave, how can I ask him?

Joseph from Vienna, WA

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January 1, 20070 found this helpful
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How old are you? My grandson is 13. He approached his dad with his hands on his cheeks w/a grin and said, "Dad? I feel like.. hair. I think I can start shaving, girls don't like this, and look I'm getting a mustache. an I shave? His dad feeling all fatherly took him out to purchase a shaver. parents like honesty and for their teens

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be open with them. He doesn't shave often, he knows when he needs to. Good luck! :)

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January 2, 20070 found this helpful
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How old are you and do you really need to shave? I went to school with a girl when I was growing up whose mother wouldn't allow her to shave her pits or wear deodorant. She wanted to keep her a child forever. The counselor stepped in by calling the mother and infomed her that her daughter was being shunned because of BO. Some parents just don't see their child as growing up. I say if you really need to, if it embarasses you and your father won't listen, to ask the school counselor for help. Sometimes a suggestion from another adult will go a lot farther toward being heard. When my husband was in school, they once sent home a note that said he would not be allowed to return until he came back shaved in a way that met school regulations, which were clearly defined in the note.

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February 20, 2018

I am a very hairy girl. Recently many guys have told me I have a lot of hair and why don't I shave. People constantly keep eyeing my legs and hand. I'm scared to even wear half sleeved shirts, skirts, or shorts. All I wear is jeans and jackets.

I had asked my mom if she would take me to the parlour for shaving, she got really mad at me and told me that it's not time at my age (I'm in grade 8 ) and that this is all teenager's attitudes that we care about how we look and all, and then she walked away.

It would be great if anyone could tell me on how to ask my mom again and how to convince her to let me wax or shave. My elder sister was only allowed to wax when she was 16, I'm not sure if my mom will allow me too.

Please help!

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February 20, 20180 found this helpful
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You aren't too far from being 16. I believe in Grade 8, you're about 13/14.

Perhaps you can shave or wax at home. Tell your mother how you feel and that you're uncomfortable to wear half sleeve, shirts, skirts and shorts. Even though your sister shaved at 16, everyone is different and hits puberty at different ages.

However shaving/waxing is up to you. Many people also take the minimalist route and embrace hair because it's natural. It's your option to take which route you like and let your mother know your feelings.

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By 0 found this helpful
April 23, 2018

I'm now 14 and have wanted to start shaving my legs for a long time now. I get way too nervous every time I try to ask my mum especially since I've been shaving my armpits using her shaver for years, but was too embarrassed to ask her about it. Now I'm scared that she'll ask about that as well and I'm not sure what I should say. I just want some advice about how to ask her.

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April 23, 20180 found this helpful
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Tell her you are growing up and growing more hair. You want to look well groomed, and most of the other girls in your class are shaving. If she doesn't want you to cut yourself, ask if you can use a depilatory instead.

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April 30, 20180 found this helpful
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Isn't it wonderful to get such good, supportive advice from so many ladies who have all been where you're at? The only (small) thing I can add, presuming your mum is a busy lady, is to ask if you can talk to her about something. Choose a time when she's not overwhelmed with everything, a time when she might have a quiet moment or two ... perhaps at the end of the day after everyone else has gone to bed?

Don't worry. It'll be fine.

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By 0 found this helpful
April 27, 2018

I'm male, so this is kind of challenging for me. I'm unsure on whether or not she will get angry. She's seen me in a dress before and she wasn't happy about it (claimed it to be "confronting" and then talking to me about it all night and then the next day). I'm 16 - 17 in less than a month.

If it helps get a better idea of my mother; she told me after realising I cross-dress that she's "sorry" and that she "just needs time". In terms of cultural context; I'm West Australian. I want to be simple; "Hey mum, could you please wax my legs?". But I fear she may say something like "YOU'RE A BOY! BOYS DON'T DO THAT!!" and then cause a massive issue or something.

Anything is appreciated.

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April 29, 20180 found this helpful
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If you are 17, why not just do it yourself? Is she really going to notice your legs? (In my state in the USA, that is considered an adult).
Or, tell her your are thinking of it and what is her opinion?
My daughters started shaving when they felt they needed to. That was one thing I never got worried or upset about. Some parents worry about the shaving, I was more concerned on the bigger items--who their friends were, where they were, curfews, grades and such.

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By 0 found this helpful
July 23, 2017

So I am 15 and I want to shave my legs, really, really, badly. I have really dark hairy legs. My mum bought me a razor ages ago, but she never said what I can and can't shave. I do my armpits regularly, but I don't do my legs. It hasn't been bothering me lately because it's winter, but my cousins are visiting from England in a week and I would really like to have them done by then.

My brother has told me I have hairy legs, and one of his close friend's (male) has also commented, but I just can't force myself to. My dad has also told me to shave my legs twice, but not one word from my mum. Once he said it in front of my mum so I am sure if she didn't want me to she would have said so. I think my dad is better at sharing his feelings than my mum. So what do you think? Should I just do it? I am pretty sure my mum would be fine with it, and I think when she was younger she just went and did it on her own. Please help!

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By 0 found this helpful
May 10, 2017

I am almost 13 and have very hairy legs. A few weeks back my friend's smaller brother said my leg looks like a boy's. He was only 6, but still I felt very embarrassed. My mom has booked an appointment for herself at the parlour day after tomorrow. I am planning to tell her about this. Should I mention waxing or shaving? I am not very open with my mom about all the teenage stuff because she is a school teacher and is Linda strict, but she does ask me whether I have a bf in a joking way. We don't discuss it much. How shall I bring up the topic?

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May 10, 20171 found this helpful

You should just say, mom my legs are hairy. What do you recommend?

She's a teacher - I'd assume she'd be understanding?

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May 10, 20170 found this helpful

I had the same problem and just up and told my mum some girls at school were making fun of me. She helped me out straight away. I really think yours will too, given how you feel about the situation.

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By 0 found this helpful
May 21, 2017

I always wear pants because I can't focus since I have anxiety in social situations, like school. The farthest up I will go up is long capris. My mom and I are very close, but it's very awkward on both ends. I have tried to talk to her about it, but we never get into actually talking about it. I sometimes hide my arms because of my social anxiety. It's such a weight on my chest. I don't like it.

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October 5, 20140 found this helpful

I am 14 years old, in my freshman year of high school and I don't shave. I really want to, more than anything. I'm always too afraid to ask though. I hate when it's hot because I have to wear shorts. I've tried to buy my own razors before, but my twin sister said, "No, it's like hiding your period."
My sister isn't as crazy about this as I am. She gets really awkward when it comes to talking about anything like this, too.
All of my friends shave and I get so embarrassed whenever I'm in public. They always talk about it and I have to pretend to do something else because I'm too embarrassed. I think a few of them have noticed, and possibly talked about it behind my back. My legs make me anxious and I'm always feeling depressed.
I need to ask my mom soon. I can't take this anymore. Please help!

By Caroline S.

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October 7, 20140 found this helpful
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Just ask your mom. Tell her you feel confident and mature enough to start shaving.

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By 0 found this helpful
October 23, 2017

My mum recently bought me a razor for my arm pits. I want to also shave my legs because they are very dark and thick. When I asked my mum when I can shave my legs, she said 16, 16! All my friends are shaving their legs and they get to wear shorts without being embarrassed. Help, I wish my mum would research about it more, cuz I have and I think I'm ready to shave.

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By 0 found this helpful
August 24, 2017

I want to shave badly because everyone at school makes fun of me. I'm 13 and everyone, even my friends, make fun of me because of my legs. How do I get my mom to notice that I want to shave without asking her?

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August 22, 2017

I am 13 and have only just started to shave my legs. My leg hairs are still growing and even faster than before. I want to wax my legs, but I'm scared to ask my mum. What should I do?

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By 0 found this helpful
October 12, 2018

I am 15 yrs old and ever since I started my middle school (6th grade), I was often asked this question "Why do you have so much hair on your hands and legs?" by both male and female classmates. When I was in 7th grade I shaved my legs and my hands once without my mom's permission. So she scolded me and she said she will only allow me to shave after I am 17 or 18 yrs old, but I think that's way too long.

Now I am in 10th grade and a guy in 12th grade asked me "Why do you have so much hair on your legs?" I was really shocked and embarrassed. I didn't eat anything that day. I told my dad and he told my uncle without my permission. But when I told my mom, she was was like "You can shave" (in an angry tone). But my uncle went to my school's principal. And he and I were called in. I was shocked to see him. I actually didn't want him to get scolded as he could hold grudges and spread this incident in the whole school. And he actually did that. Although a few people know about this. Then my mom allowed me to shave my legs, but still I have a lot of hair on my hands. Many people stare at it. Indians are hairy and I asked my mom to let me shave my arms. (I was really afraid) and she was "No No No". My best friend started shaving in the 7th grade. Her mom told her that she could, but my mom is so freaking persistent. I am hairy that's why I have dense pores on my legs even after shaving.

Now Pujas (an Indian festival) is coming up and we buy clothes and wear them on this occasion. I am thinking of asking her to let me shave my hands. I need some advice regarding this. I'll be looking forward to these answers. Oh by the way my mom shaves.

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By 0 found this helpful
June 1, 2016

My mom and I don't have a really good relationship because she always works long hours and I don't really get a chance to talk to her. I'm 13 and in 8th grade. Basically everyone in my class is shaving and wears a bra (at least a sports bra), but I don't know how to ask her.

My legs are really hairy and I have a lot of armpit hair. My mom has brought it up a couple of times when I have casually said that I have lots of leg hair, but she just ignores it. Once though, she said that she didn't start shaving until she was in college. I can't wait until college! I really want to shave now. Even my dad and brother have brought it up to me how my legs look like boys' legs with all that hair.

Two years ago, we were shopping and I was buying a tank top with her and I told her how I didn't know if I wanted it because I had so much armpit hair. She told me I could shave it off, but she has never really gone back onto the topic. I have worn dresses before and I have purposely raised my arms to flash her my armpit hair to see if she would notice. I think she did, but she just never really brings it up.

On the topic of bras, currently, I am only wearing camis with like the training bras attached to them in the inside, but my mom won't upgrade me into an actual training bra. I just don't know how to bring it up. She doesn't wear sports bras and she doesn't own them either so I have a feeling she doesn't really know what they are or just never used them. All of my friends wear them and I really want one and I think I am ready for one.

How should I approach her about these? Lots of people say to just confront her, but when the time comes close, I just back out.

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June 1, 20160 found this helpful

Tell her you need to talk to her about something important and have her set a time when she won't be working, like an appointment. then you can't just back out.

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June 1, 20160 found this helpful

If making a time to talk with her is not possible, you can consider writing a note to her describing your specific concerns. Ask for her help to start shaving and going to a store for a bra-fitting.

Good Luck!!!

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By 0 found this helpful
October 23, 2018

I'm 13 and I have really hairy armpits and legs. Everybody else shaves, and I really really want to as well. I freaked out and started shaving without my mum knowing. So far it hasn't caused any problems, but I have to use my mum's razor, and I know she'll find out soon. I really want to ask her to let me shave, so I can learn properly and get my own stuff. But I'm really embarrassed and scared to talk to her about it. You see, I have a lot of anxiety and find it scary to ask my mum this. Should I just shave without her knowing? Or does anyone have tips on how to get her to ask me somehow? And there is no way that I'll be able to ask her.

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By 0 found this helpful
April 21, 2016

I'm 13 and I was wondering if I should ask my mom if I could start shaving because I just feel embarrassed to show my legs in school or outside of school. I really need help on this because my mom doesn't shave and last time I asked her and she ended up saying no which made me mad and angry because every girl at school shaves except for me. Please help!
(Sorry for grammar errors)

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April 21, 20160 found this helpful

A good way to ask your mom about shaving is to simply write her a note asking for her help to learn how to shave your legs. You can explain that you are embarrassed and would like to start shaving now.
Good Luck!

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By 0 found this helpful
September 8, 2015

I'm 13 and my legs and armpits are getting really hairy. The hair is dark, so it's really noticeable. All my friends shave, even a couple who don't look like they've hit puberty. I'm not at all scared to shave, but I'm worried about asking my mom about it. Does she expect me to ask her, or is she waiting to talk to me about it?

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September 8, 20150 found this helpful

Your mother may not realize you are concerned about your need to start shaving. You are concerned about your hair growth so you should discuss this with your mother.

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September 10, 20150 found this helpful

If for some reason you are shy to talk to your mother about this, perhaps you have an aunt or a cousin or an older sister with whom you feel more at ease who could help you talk to mom about shaving.

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January 26, 20160 found this helpful

When I was in fifth grade everyone was already shaving they're legs. I thought this was a little ridiculous and started in sixth grade at twelve years old without my mothers permission. I wouldn't recommend it. When she did find out, when we were at the doctors office getting my hurt knee x rayed, she didn't seem to happy, plus it was awkward. I would recommend asking first.

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By 0 found this helpful
October 29, 2018

My name is Grace. I am 13 in the 7th grade, I have not shaved. All my friends do, and when they talk about it I just don't know what to say while they are talking, like they say, "oh I cut my self, or oh I forgot a strip of hair". And it makes me feel uncomfortable when they do talk about it.

Recently my mom bought me a razor and shaving cream, and said we will do it tomorrow. It has been a month and I don't know how to bring this up to her that I need to shave.

The hair on my legs is really dark, like really. I am starting basketball very very soon. And I feel really weird having hairy legs. My mom and I have a close relationship, but I don't know why I can't tell her that I need to shave my legs. How do I remind my mom that she got me a razor without telling her?

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